This being my first journal entry I'm forced to admit that i could easily lock

myself up from the world for the rest of my life. Emotionally at least. People

are so astounding in their audacity to think they're above the world. Self

righteous and self serving, analytical, hypocritical cowards. Damn them all.

They think nothing of lying and covering the truth with lies so poisonous that

they believe them themselves. Selfish and blind to their so obvious flaws and

expecting those around them to change to fit their hypocritical persona. What's

worse is that if I were to take them and create a canvas in their like, a

picture or poem or anything to capture them, it would be ruined by all of their

bitterness. Blurry objects, violent colours, wicked slashes

across my canvas. There's a terrible sick beauty to it all.

Even worse that that is that I've accepted this but am still slapped into

silence when I'm proven right by a new motive to make life fit into their

twisted agenda.

Have We always been this way?

In less than a week I lost three friends that I cared for so deeply and trusted so blindly. A Lover, A best friend, and someone I would have given anything for if they only asked. I cannot tell you what they meant to me but at the same time I cannot come up with the courage to fight myself for a reason to make up with them. I simply do not trust them with any part of myself anymore and I feel that lost the most. It bites and claws and fights unfairly. Pulls hair and rips my heart out to feel no need to stop it.